How will I ever trust Barbie again?

TV news anchors love teasers like “Could your microwave popcorn be hazardous to your health?” and “What harmful chemicals are being released from your frozen bottled water?” And now, amid the routine hysteria, we have to worry about toxic toys.

Thanks to recent recalls of painted and magnetic playthings that include such products as die-cast cars and miniature doll accessories, I won’t be holiday shopping early, this year. I’m too paralyzed by the news to make any purchases.

My first thought when I initially read about all the toy recalls was this: At long last, I have a legitimate reason to quit buying Barbie items.

But it’s not only Barbie-related products that have been affected. A substantial number of playthings have been found to have lead paint contamination or magnetic health hazards. (For those who might not have already suspected this, when magnets are accidentally consumed they’re potentially lethal.)

The recent warnings have frightened me so much that I’ve been thinking I ought to line up the grandkids and see which, if any, of them will readily stick to my refrigerator door.

Several types of character merchandise and doll products have been added to the growing list of consumer recalls. However, I should clue you in on my own research. If my son’s dog offers any indication of the existing health threat level, there’s little to be concerned about. The beast has consumed and digested countless Polly Pocket items with no noticeable effect. That is, other than some comically accessorized dog poo.

I realize that lead paint and magnet risks are real. It’s just that I’m not too sure how far to carry my fears. Do I need to start inspecting every acquisition for the words “Made in China?” Should I discard any products I’ve already bought, like those trendy square red Melamine plates I purchased from a discount store, last summer?

Good grief. If I started throwing away every overseas manufactured and painted product I own, there’d soon be nothing left inside my house but the TV and stereo—and I’m not even sure about them. But at least they’re too big to swallow, right?

Truth be told, I suspect more children have suffered lead poisoning from exposure to contaminated U.S. soils and waters than from playing with tainted toys.

In any event, for extra precaution I decided to go to the Consumer Products Safety Commission Web site to read more about these issues. There I learned that, since 2005, one death and 86 injuries have been caused by magnetic toys. And while one death of a child is one too many, to put this into perspective, during 2004, alone, those cute little powered scooters that so many kids are riding were cited in 10,015 injuries requiring hospitalization. Two-thirds of those injuries involved children under age 15, and twelve of those resulted in death.

Risks are a part of our everyday lives, and, from what I can tell, they always will be. I need to stay informed of health and consumer alerts—but I don’t need to be crippled by them.

In the midst of hysteria, it’s easy to overlook the obvious. Toy companies can and should do their part to monitor their products’ quality and safety. But neither corporations nor government can ever fully protect us.

Regardless of where an item has been manufactured, toy safety can be enhanced by preventing children from chewing and ingesting their belongings. And retail spending will be healthier when news reports aim to inform rather than strike consumer fear and panic.

If you enjoyed this story and would like to read more like it, you may want to buy the book Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road: Humorous Views on Love, Lust & Lawn Care, by Diana Estill--available online and in your favorite bookstores.

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Last Updated: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 09:01 PM